And then there were three...

The Cozy Kitten Cattery

How can something so tiny create such a HUGE amount of questions?

He was born on June 3, 2003
Both parents being "Toys"...one a persian, one a himalayan.
This would be his mom's first ever litter, she was new to the "Mothering scene", yet VERY wise and very caring.
One by one she delivered her tiny litter of toys, as the day ended she found herself a mother of five.
The minutes turned to hours and the hours into a day. Soon I noticed my newest Mommy had no milk. Panicked and scared I called my friend crying for help, she quickly raced for information and help as I quickly called my vet.
"We can give her a shot in hopes her milk will come in, but no promises. "
I peered into the kittening box, five very small frail babies...in MY care. Fives owners awaiting word as they anxiously prepared their lives for these bundles of joy.
I gave all I had in my body, my mind and soul. I really thought I was doing good...till day three when baby one slipped from my caring hands.
Crushed and hopeless, my physical duties went on. I raced through the cats, the kids and the house. I lost touch with reality as I lived within the kittening box. Merely hours after losing baby 1...I said to baby 2's owner..."Yours will be next...far too weak to eat, way to small to save."
It was hours later that we lost another...but not the one I thought. I knew for sure I had NO power or say over what was happening. Another shot for mom...more things to bring in her milk. A first time Mom who's eyes were filled with fear and wonder..."Why me?"
Two babies carried away by angels unknown. Friends pouring in hope, love, prayers and caring gestures. Kitty clients with older kittens held their breath...never asking how their babies were...only the ones I was hand raising.
The three remaining babies fought me tooth and nail. "No...we don't want to eat from you...we want only Mommy." Three small babies frail as could be. One tiny flame, one tiny tortie and oh...baby number three. Not sure what he would be...
I remember thinking..."If I wake every few hours, warm your milk prepare your bottles and softly try to feed you...all you must do is swallow. Why won't you swallow for me?"
Those of you that called me with an endless supply of faith in my abilities to save the remaining three....heard my tears, my fear and my hopelessness. Tiny tortie continued to nurse.
"They won't eat I cried, they don't want to live and I can't save them, this fake milk is not working... they will not take the bottles." Paralyzed by fear but wanting to know...my friends asked...what can I do?
I need these babies to eat! They refuse to eat! They hate these bottles...they are too big and the simply turn their heads away.
Days had gone by, I didn't know how old they were or even when they were born, all I knew was I could not tell another owner her baby had gone to heaven.
A group of my friends set out to find a special bottle for my wee ones, I remember them panicked and frustrated as they awaited word the special bottles from Canada had arrived.
No such luck...as the weekend sat in, I feared the worst. Late Friday afternoon, a box arrived....I rushed to open it and there sat three miniature roses... staring out at me. One for each baby...one for each of my closest friends.
A note that read: Sue: Three mini roses here you see, One each from Kathy, Meggie and me. One for each angel set free, one for each remaining three.
How will I ever repay these three?
Letters and cards, e-mail and calls....and prayers galore.
I remember thinking..."How many will be here by Monday...will I have to lay another tiny angel on one of those clouds & bid good bye?"
I forced them to eat, I forced them to wake. Each and every time I looked into the box, I took a big breath and wondered...what will I see? It was heart wrenching to think we may not have three.
Sweet Mama kept them ever so clean, warm and dry. Tiny tortie continued to nurse.
Another shot and more vitamins...but would it help? She and I wanted the best no matter what that would be. Three small babies frail as could be. One tiny flame, one tiny tortie and oh...baby number three. Not sure what he would be...
Tiny tortie was the strongest...girls usually are...I remember saying...she was the only HOPE I had.
She was the fighter of the three, she nursed even though there was nothing to nurse. I kept thinking..."Keep nursing tiny tortie...maybe...just maybe..."
Once again I told Amy...owner of baby number three...I have no hope at this point, he will be next. I could tell she did not agree. Perhaps it was because her eyes were not seeing what mine were...I don't know. She had faith and hope...I could tell. Tiny tortie continued to nurse.
It seems like years, but Monday finally came....and there they were.....what I call... "Hope in a box."
Tiny bottles shaped and formed just like Moms. There it was...such a tiny box, but filled with so much Hope.
I raced to the babies showing them..."Look what the girls sent!"
They latched on and drank like never before! Finally I felt my body fill with HOPE and excitement for what each new day would bring. I will feed your babies Mama, you simply keep them clean and warm and I'll do the rest.
I raced to my computer and told the three..."A little box of Hope arrived in the mail today!".
From that point I knew the little girl's name would be HOPE, because she gave it to me endlessly.
The bottles were great, the babies loved them and finally had learned to accept the "Fake Milk" that came from within them.
I thought the problems were far gone and we could sleep.
You keep those babies warm Mama...and my oh my how she did. The fake milk gave the babies a lose stool, but Mama kept them they clean as a whistle every time I checked. :) Tiny torie continued to nurse.
They were eating and growing a little and seemed to be on their way to a healthy happy life. I felt at peace and finally left the house for the first time, knowing the babies were in great care.
I ran my errands and rushed back home. It would soon be feeding time again! I warmed the bottle and went to feed the tiny three...I screamed with sheer fear as I saw blood in the kittening box. Oh dear God.....baby number three...his tiny toe was bleeding... Oh my god! I rushed out the door with baby number three....off to the vet not knowing what had happened.
Tears and pain filled my mind and heart. My vet looked at me and said "Some mother cats have no mothering skills while others have too much. This mama was trying so hard to keep them clean, in between each tiny toe and now...has accidentally torn the toes of baby number three.
Tiny toes left dangling from this tiny ten day old kitten. Fearing the answer I said..."Will he be ok?"
The look in my vets eyes said no...oh my god...not baby number three. How could my heart take more? Baby three was such apart of me. They cleaned his wound and handed me antibiotics & creams, powders and gels. I don't remember seeing the road I drove home only tears of fear, sadness and sorrow.
Even if this baby survives he will lose this toe...maybe three. Angry and mad I wondered...how could you hurt your baby sweet mama?
But one look into her eyes I knew this was not hate or anger...this was love, the love to do HER PART as a Mom. She could not feed and needed me, I sat and held her crying and asking God why? Why does it have to be this way?
Everything seemed to be going so well. At my vets request I kept sweet mama from her babies until the ever so tiny foot healed.
I called my friend and she said to me..."Sue things are JUST AS THEY SHOULD BE."
I don't know how you could say that! How could this be the way things were SUPPOSED to be? Where is the sense in this?

Telling Amy was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I felt I had let her down, I felt we all had. I warned her...this is not what we needed. Baby # 3 was never the strong one and yet she held her faith. I told my friends as they all jumped to the rescue.... "If he makes it and Amy doesn't want him...I DO."
For such a tiny little guy you sure brought a world full of love. The calls poured in, my e-mails overfilled....my heart felt heavy with each passing call. "These people have more faith in me than I can imagine." What will I say when we lose baby # 3?
I told Amy...at this point, it is one hour at a time. Infection could set in and my hope was fading fast. She held on and said to me..."No matter what happens I know you have done EVERYTHING in your power to save this baby for me."
What more could go wrong?
Little Hope...you sure are nursing strong!
Wait a minute baby Hope...what is that you have around your mouth... Oh dear God it's MILK!
SWEET MAMA....YOU HAVE MILK! Tiny torie you saved all THREE!
For the very first time...I knew...we would save all three!
Baby Hope you never gave up and now you gave hope to me...and baby number three!
Baby number two...let's not forget him...pudgy and fat...we nick named him Porky...*hehe**
So here we are...the rain has stopped and questions filled the air!
All three are here.....just as it is supposed to be.
Baby number three...now has a name...he's little Sevi.
Left with one toe on that tiny foot....leaving us all in auhhhh over his speedy recovery and his will to NEVER give up....even when I had gave up on him.
Why did I post this page? Because I feel I owe it and so much more to all of you who stood by me. Pouring endless LOVE, HOPE & FAITH into my heart in a constant steady stream.
I would try and list you all, but simply could not.
I would like to give a special heartfelt to those of you closest to me.
Amy - For never giving up on me and Sevi Dr, Owns - for the speedy care on that scary Sunday afternoon. To my three little angels who sent the roses & bottles, e-mails and cards & most of all LOVE. To all the people who had kittens here and so kindly said..."I understand."
No words can ever say how big of an impact this had on me.
Now I present the tiny three....
NOTE: I will show you pictures I took along this awesome journey.